Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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