You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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