And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
