You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize