You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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