my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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