if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Four minutes until I can fart!
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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