I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
