therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
