Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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