I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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