Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize