just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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