He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
