What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
