I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Randomize
