My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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