I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm like, not good at living.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
