I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize