I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
