i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
