So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
