Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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