it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
