can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
