Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
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