ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
