Where did you get a picture of my penis
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
