One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
