arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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