a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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