we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
