He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
