Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
