Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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