everyone is single if you try hard enough
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Holy sore nipples Batman
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize
