I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
