I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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