I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
