i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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