i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize