Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
