I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
