My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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