I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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