the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
