Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
