he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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