you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
