i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
