hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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