Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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