i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Bring me that man meat
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
