So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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