Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
