My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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