I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
